Adoption Life Book

A life book is a great way to teach your child their story and show respect for their past and biological connection. It is a powerful exercise that assists with the bonding and attachment process between you and your child. It truly is such a powerful tool, that I believe all adoptees would want this as a child.

The photos in this entry are of my actual life book. I made that 4 years ago during my search. It was a very powerful project for me to do, but I suppose the underlying tone is that I did this so late in my life, and I did it alone.

A life book is something that you can start the moment you receive information on your child. Every photo, quote or piece of information is golden, and as such you should treat it that way.
I recommend that you start an official book in a scrap book format and take the time to make it colourful and visually appealing to your child. There are websites that give ideas and inspiration…try: http://www.scrapandtell.com/

Michael's Arts and Crafts also does regular in-person scrapbooking workshops.

You should document all major milestones, from your adoption paperwork, photos of significant days including meeting your child for the first time, airplane ride, entering your home for the first time and medical information. Additionally, any paper work relating to your child’s orphanage or foster care experience, or feedback or quotes from the caretakers should be documented. Keep in mind that all minute details such as how many other children were in the orphanage, or address of the foster care home is very important to document. Do not decide for your child on the details that they should know.

In the case that you have very little information relating to your child, then try to be creative and document information on your child’s country of origin or worldly facts that were happening in the time frame your child was born.

Do not trust yourself and think you will remember everything. There is no way during an emotional adoption experience that you will. So, document it clearly and accurately and find an appealing way to make this sacred life book for your child.

Once your child has been in your care for at least a few years, take on a project for your child to make their own. Photocopy the originals, facts and quotes and help your child create a life book that your child will solely possess. The importance of photocopies can not be stressed enough as your child may have moments in their life where anger can be so prominent that they will endeavor to destroy or subconsciously hide this book.

I also recommend a back up file with photocopies in case this may go missing. If you have the option of a safety deposit box, or out of home storage – you should also consider putting photocopies there. Keep in mind that there is little forgiveness from the adoptee in the case anything may go missing.

For more information, try these links:
http://www.lifebooksource.com/
http://www.adoptionlifebooks.com/
http://www.thedreamkidz.com/

Seventh Day

The seventh day at House of Angels was particularly interesting and initially brought a different and surprising reaction to my presence.
My morning began as I entered the play room. It was quite somber, and brought a very different reaction.

I walked in and the children were colouring or sitting on the couches watching television. There was no grand reception of hello’s, yells and rambunctious moods. Instead, one the boys (who I sense to be a leader of the group) addressed me with “Leaving today?” and modeled his body like an airplane to describe my immanent departure. His body language was aloof and cool.

I replied “Yes, but later today”, and he reacted with a blank facial expression and simply walked away. It was quite the reaction to experience, but I understood immediately why they were reacting in such a fashion. So, I sucked it up and surveyed the room. A little boy was colouring in the middle of the room, so I gently sat beside him and we smiled at each other. In a few minutes, another little boy came to join, then a few girls, and another boy.

Soon after, I started receiving “love” notes from the girls and thank-you cards from the children and staff. A few other children also drew me pictures.

Not long after I found myself in the typical swarming of children melting into my legs and arms. They became very rambunctious and forgot that I was leaving. I whipped out my camera and not before long, it was complete chaos! The children were tumbling, flipping and yelling “Jana! Jana!” I tried taking as many photos as I could, but I realized I couldn’t keep up with their standards of attention and clicking capabilities.

A few hours passed and it was time for me to go. The head caretaker Vicky rounded up the children and they all hugged and kissed me. It was a very quiet goodbye, with plenty of hugs and kisses and little words.